The Dao’s wedding rites are composed of three main ceremonies, the betel-laying ceremony, the engagement and wedding ceremonies.
After a period of meeting, if a couple wants to get married, the boy will takes the girl to his family and ask his parents to approve and arrange their wedding. The boy’s parents will choose the closest date to visit the girl’s family, however they will not let the girl’s family to know about their intention. If consenting to the wedding, the boy's parents will choose a good day to pay a plighting visit or "nịnh ăn rền" which is the official ceremonial meeting between the two families.
Engagement ceremony, also known as betel -laying ceremony or "Nhịn chay á" which is held at the bride's family. Betrothal gifts are simple, including a pair of chickens placed in bamboo cages and wrapped by rose paper. At the engagement ceremony, two families will make the last decision for the gifts that groom's family has to prepare on the wedding day. After the engagement ceremony about half a year, a formal wedding will be held.
The wedding " áy cón" is official held at the end of the year, because they avoid to have wedding ceremony on the odd months of the year, and keep the wedding ceremony date off the birth of the parents, the bride, groom from two families or the new couple would have bad luck. The Dao’s wedding rites normally will takes place in two days. On the first day, it is held at the bride's family and the other day will be held at the boy's family.
According to the Dao’s customs, while the boy’s family walked out the door, all the children from the village will stand around the doorsteps. Only after the match-maker gives some money to the children, does the groom take the bride home. As coming to the groom’s gateway, two bridesmaids will take out three sets of clothes for brides to wear, and help the bride to take part in the family ancestor ceremony. When coming home, the bride must step on three paper and bamboo puppets. If there were something unlucky, these three puppets would bear for her. Then the bride and groom kneel down before the altar of the ancestors, and the shaman will practice to inform the ancestors. After the ceremonies, the bride and groom come to the back row seats to say thank to their relatives. Next, the match-maker and two bridesmaids will help the groom and bride back to the dressing room for change costumes...
The next morning, the groom’s family, including groom’s father, groom’s uncle and the new couple, will bring a pair of chickens to the bride's family for the newly-weds first visit or "Hụm lâu". On this visit, the groom and groom’s family will be introduced to bride family’s relatives. From that moment, two family officially are now connexion. Morover, the bride and groom have to recognize the match-makers as their foster parents.
Nowadays, the Dao’s wedding rites have many changes compared to previous rituals which is now shortened. However, the majority of weddings are still held according to the traditional ceremony to preserve unique traditional culture of their peoples.
Duy Chien / Report LCDT